is it that time again?

i did it. i swore that i would never do it again, but i did it anyways. i lost control. i just ordered 6 boxes of girl scout cookies. dang. i know better. they aren't even that good. and the price is ridiculous! why would i do something so stupid? and every year? i swear the packages get smaller each year. and the price goes up. so what it comes down to is; i just spent more money on less cookies than i did last year. smart, huh? dang.

happy birthday to me

i have a birthday coming up soon. gag. i do not do birthdays very well. in fact, i have had this "birthday phobia" since i was 27. that was a real hard birthday for me, i felt like i was a big loser and had nothing to show for my 27 years of life. i guess i was a real "drama queen" that year because my next birthday came and went without any acknowledgment. i am serious. it was probably 10 pm and i couldn't take it for another minute! was anyone going to say "happy birthday" to me or WHAT?!? geez. i was then informed that after last year's melt down perhaps it would be better if we just forgot about the whole birthday thing. fine.

but you know what? this birthday coming up isn't freaking me out as much. i don't feel like such a loser with nothing to show...blah, blah, blah... i just finished my first semester of school (with some pretty impressive grades i might add!) and i just landed the job i have wanted for the past 5 years but never got! i have a handsome, successful husband who loves me. i have 5 beautiful, healthy, funny, smart children. and i have big plans for myself this year! i am just a late bloomer. so i don't foresee a melt down this year. in fact, i might just celebrate this one. my kids love a good party... and so does their mom.

employed

i had a great interview today. it went so great, in fact, that i walked away with a job! what a relief. a paycheck. with MY name on it. haven't seen one of those in awhile. it's bittersweet in a way. i have a job that i KNOW i am going to love...but the hours kinda suck. anything sucks that takes me away from my family. but a bright spot is that i can finish school now. things will work out, right?! yeah. i start on the 2nd of january. what a great way to start the year...employed.

throw it out

i totally cleaned out my planner today. every scrap of paper, every useless receipt, every list and calendar page went into the trash. it felt great. very cleansing. now i just need to insert a new calendar for the new year and i will be set. i have to get organized. i say this every year but this year i MEAN it! really! i found this memo pad with these goofy little stories in the "secret" pocket of the planner. at one time i thought about writing one of those little books full of silly things that have happened to me. i was seriously considering actually sending it to a publisher, a couple of my friends convinced me they were THAT funny. we'll see. i haven't completely given up on the idea but i am a little busy with other stuff right now to worry about it. this is one of the things i had written down...

as most nursing mothers know, there are those days when you feel like all you did was button and unbutton your shirt. all day. then there are those days when you don't even feel like buttoning it back up. i mean, what's the point? you will only have to unbutton it again, right? and you are in the comfort and privacy of your own home, right? sometimes your sense of modesty loses it's importance. well...

our daughter had spent the night at her little friend's house and was being dropped off by this little girl's daddy (you know where this is going, don't you?). he brought her to the door and i was there to greet them (being the good hostess that i am). ordinarily this guy was friendly and talkative but today he wouldn't even make eye contact. he seemed to be talking to the space around me and seemed anxious to leave (bolt out the door is more like it). about that time my husband pulled up and came walking up the step with this perplexed look on his face. as he slid by me through the door he whispered "you might want to button up before you answer the door next time". only then did i realize that i was standing there fully exposed with my nursing bra unhooked and my shirt unbuttoned! could this be why our friend was so uncomfortable?! could this be why he couldn't wait to get the h#ll out of there?! needless to say, it was one of the MOST embarrassing moments in my LIFE!!

even now, if i have a button undone, my husband will devilishly say "hey, do we have company coming?!"