if it doesn't work, fix it...

i love my mom. i know she loves me too. as i was growing up i don't recall very many 'knock down drag outs' with her. i know we had our share of disagreements about the usual things...boys, clothes, boys, grades, boys...you know what i mean. i hear that alot of teenage girls and their moms have those. and then when the teenage girl grows up, everything is hunky dory between mother and child. well, things between me and my my mom are not hunky dory by any means. it is really starting to bother me. alot. more than alot. i need my mom. my husband and i have been considering some life changing decisions lately and i want to bounce them off of her. share them with her.

it has been so long since we've talked that i am hesitant to call. that's sad. i guess i just want her to have that 'mommy feeling' that i need her and just call me. we used to have that. i don't know what happened to it. i have a grown daughter myself and i can't stand going too long without talking to her. hmm...i don't get it.

i have decided to start making amends on my part, though. i am going to write a note every month to let her know what's going on around here with the kids and stuff. that way, i know i have the peace of mind in knowing that i am making the effort to reconnect. maybe hearts will be softened and healed in the process and we can get our relationship back on track. i hope so. i sure need my mom lately.