i am sorry to say this but i can't be your friend. i know you are probably a great person and all that but i just can't risk it. i know that we could probably find some things in common, which is how most great friendships begin. we might even be able to laugh at some stuff together, even each other, which would only make us that much closer. we could talk on the phone occasionally and just check and see how the other is doing, but that would lead to setting up times to get together. to talk. or do stuff. or laugh. or go places with our kids. and then, before you know it, we are part of each other's lives without even meaning to be. pretty soon we're sharing secrets, fears, memories, ideas...

see, i know all about this friendship thing. i've done it several times and will probably do it again. no matter how i try to to avoid it, it will sneak up on me. by the time i realize it, it will be too late, i will be in too deep. and i will have already gone and done all those things that friends do...laugh, talk, share, do stuff, go places. yep. sucked in...

and then it happens. the friend moves. never down the street. or across town. or heaven forbid, next door. no. halfway across the world. another friend moving to another state. yes i have a phone. yes i can write emails. we all know it's not the same. who is going to sit next to me in relief society and cry? who am i going to kidnap and take out for ice cream late at night? who is going to patiently give me directions to her house even though i have driven there 40 thousand times? who is going to understand that it is normal for me to occasionally sit in my car with the windows rolled up and just scream? who?

that's why i can't be your friend. so don't ask. because when you call me and tell me you are moving i will act and sound excited for you and your family. because i have good manners. but i will be crying on the inside. and sometimes on the outside. don't feel sorry for me. i am in self preservation mode and don't need pity. just time. and space. and tissue. lots of tissue.